Roast the peanuts until slightly brown and keep it aside. Fry the sesame seeds to light brown color and place it along with the peanuts. In the same pan, dry roast the coriander seeds along with red chilies and keep it in the bowl. At the end, turn off the flame and roast the desiccated coconut in the pan for few seconds and remove it along with the rest of the ingredients. Let this cool down and then grind it to a smooth paste adding a little water.
In a pan, heat the oil and add the cumin seeds. Let it crackle and then add the chopped onions. Saute the onions until they are translucent and then add the tomatoes along with turmeric powder, red chili powder and salt. Let the tomatoes cook until they are slightly mushy.
Add the chopped lauki and mix well. Add about a cup of water and let the lauki cook until it is soft. Don't over cook the lauki and make it mushy.
At this stage, add the ground masala paste and mix well. Adjust the consistency of the gravy by adding a little more water if needed.
Let it simmer for 6-8 minutes and then garnish with cilantro.
Serve hot with phulkas!